遇是一种缘分

在现代的现实生活当中，人也变得越来越现实。对生活的水准和要求也就越来越高。战争永远都是因为争夺权威而开始。家庭分裂也都是通常为了争夺觉得自己应该得到的一切而造成。就是一直争然后到最后得到了却觉得一生的经历就是在怨恨与争夺当中，就算走到最后才发现原来一无所有。

在这一路走来，我从不追求任何荣华富贵。只想这一生过着平凡的生活。就是那非常简单的生活。就算得到一切但却过的毫无意义，那过着这样的生活背着许多后悔及遗憾，最后留下也没什么值得能纪念，走的也不安心。嬷嬷常常都教好我们，一家人不能背叛自己的亲人，不能争夺一切不属于自己的东西，亲人有需要的时侯有能力的话一定要尽力的帮忙。我感谢有着那么一个大家庭，大家都和睦相的处互相照应。如果少了他们，我现在的家也无法那么完整。当时我的屋子也还未完整，他们就是大家都那么关心，都问我们需要些什么，哪里可以帮的上忙。那种温馨的感觉永远都不可能在其他地方找到。嬷嬷多谢你多年对我们的唠叨，终算是我们都没辜负你一片的期望。希望您的教导能让大家看到，什么是叫亲情。

不管你是谁，给我未来的另一半

我不要求你给我赚好多好多的钱。因为我相信靠自己的努力，自己要的东西就要自己努力赚回来。你只需要做好你的本分，我们两所赚回来的钱够养家那就好了。

我不需要你买什么名牌包包或贵重的礼物。更不需要几百万的钻戒来炫耀。只要你记得重要的日期给我买小小的礼物小小的惊喜，我就会很开心了。戒指不需要你的薪水乘多少倍，只需要你的用心当中的含义就好了。

我不需要住什么洋房大楼。因为到最后空空的感觉寂寞，倒不如一个你和我的小小温馨安乐窝。如果你能陪我走到老，我希望和你共度晚年然后一起住在一个靠近海边晚上能听到浪的声音的小屋。

我不需要你当什么出名人士。因为要抛头露面，过的生活也围绕着许多闲言闲语。我只需要你做好本分，为人慷慨做任何事都过得了自己的良心。

我不需要你用你所有的时间来陪伴我。当你认真工作事，我希望你专心的把事情都办好。我只需要你用心得抽空出来陪陪我过着二人世界，看看戏，听我诉说心事 。我们两有着美好时光，的空得时候去去旅行散散心。有许多和你美好的回忆，必然让我毕生难忘。

我不需要你帮我当风挡雨。我认为如果自己能解决的事，那我就当然应该先靠自己的努力去解决问题。如果是我需要你，你就像是一个大男人而我是你的小女人。让我感觉有你保护，好有安全感。当面对挫折时，你不留下我自己一个人来面对而是和我一同共度苦难。

你给我的所有，我会十倍的奉还。可曾读过一篇文章，你给女人的好她将永远一生记住。
我愿意为你做那个在家煮着饭等你回来的煮饭婆。每天早上醒来都有着早餐给你带回办公室吃，决不让你饿肚子。帮你洗好衣服，烫好衣服。早上起来都不需要想要穿什么，就有那里掉好一套的衣服等着你穿。把家里一切都打点好，不让你操心。这样你在事业上也能专心的工作，不再需要为琐碎事而烦恼。当然我也不会放弃自己的理想和事业，也不会为了事业而不管家庭。

在这众人万多的世界里，能和你相遇是一种缘分。这缘分就像是二十年前在我们的手上绑了一条剪不掉的红线，途中走失了，经过了许多挫折，然后又沿着那一条线让我们再次相遇。缘分是要靠双方的经营和努力来维持。当一方面停了下来，另一方自然的就会感觉得到。你和我的一路来的爱情长跑不是一字一句能写得出，而是需要用感觉来体会得到。我爱你 三个字虽然说的简单，但里面却保函这许多期望，希望，责任，感觉，回忆 等。我感激也感谢你所为我做的所有。这一生应该就不会找得到想你对我那么好的男人。你所给我的回忆，是我一生中最美好的时光。你毕竟是我一生里最爱的另一半。

两个人在一起毕竟是一生一世。还不了的来时再还。

现在所面对的一切挫折虽然艰难但有着一种不想放弃的思想。我们是经过那么多才能走在一起，是过了那么久才能再次的相遇。难道就是说，忘记就能把一切都忘得一干二净。所有的回忆，所有在一起做过的事情是多么值得去纪念。我们所为对方带来的笑容和快乐是多么的珍贵。放开那是多么大的痛苦与伤害。多么的希望 能把所有都看开，看着他人快乐好过看他人痛苦让自己的内心也过不去，又何必给自己带来痛苦。就是一个那么简单的原理。

就像玩捉迷藏从一数到第十，都有该结束的时候。就是到第十，不再趴着墙上盖着眼睛就一直数着的等待。开上眼睛去寻找目标把该做好的事情都做好，找不到的到最后也就依然的要放弃让游戏结束。写到第十，应该就是暂停的时候。是命运玩弄还是有缘无份但却无法确定。留下许多美好的回忆，就当作是这一世曾经拥有。放弃是经过无数的挣扎，是最大最痛的牺牲。勉强的不来幸福，但愿一切的平息。得不到可能就是这一生留下最美好的句点。

＃3 Story of You & Me: Fate Brought Us Together Again

Do you believe in fate? I believe that fate is the one that brought people together in a whole. How would you have met someone amongst all the other living being on earth, those who have crossed your path or not and the one that you ended up with. Of course, fate is not the only factor but the actions do play an important role as well.

Since the very beginning, I thought it was just me that felt his chinese name sounds a bit familiar that we might have met each other's some where in school since we studied at the same primary school but not at the same grade (yes I'm older by 1 year, 6 months in fact). How would we have figured out each other's most horrible nickname ever in school, just with a few encounter.

芷珊 is my name, somehow someone made a name with a sound like 智障 which means mentally retarded. Whereas, his name 秉翰 and came out to be 流汗的饼干 a biscuit that sweats. We thought that perhaps was just coincidence that such things are pretty common those days and so just happened we figured out each other's worse nickname ever which was forgotten almost two century.

Today whilst driving on the road, we saw this very old vannett in red maroon colour which was driving recklessly. While he was cursing at that guy, I said "This van looks exactly like the one I took to primary school during those days". Then he also said "I took this van as well ...". Well how many similar vans are these those days? Perhaps for the yellow orangy "Bas Sekolah" maybe. How he described the aunty with super curly hair, likes to drink water from the nescafe glass bottle, driving like a hooligan on the road with that manual van, she with lots of freckles, sometimes took us along to go buy "Toto", buying us ice cream to shut us up from telling our parents and the games that we used to play on the van on the way to and back from school.

When I dig my memory a little deeper, now that house of his looks a bit familiar, with the aunty van constantly sounding her hon and this boy always late or absent from school because he can't wake up from bed. Although I can't remember much at such age, but my feeling told me that we have crossed path in each other's life before.

We were only about 7-10 years old then. Sometimes, it's just like a miracle and how fate brought us back to together for nearly 18 - 20 years after that and to fall in love with each other.  That kind of feeling was like .... "Wow, the hand that I'm holding now was that little boy next to me 20 years back when we were still naive and young as little rascals". Just like going back to those days and telling that little boy "小弟弟你长大了20年后我会是你的女朋友知道吗？”. Think xiaodidi might have run far far away that time.

In all, I'm just thankful that how fate have brought him back into my life after all these years and how we met again in the same workplace. Maybe he was that boy that helped me up and asked if I'm ok that time, just like how he picked me up through the toughest part in my life that I was in more than 2 years ago and help me up out from it again. I would have never been able to find someone like these again for my whole life. Someone who's like a soul mate to each other, who understands each other so well.

Fate. You drew us together, I could only wish that the situation does not tear such a beautiful thing apart.

#2 Story of You & Me: The Start of The Journey

'Honeymoon Phase' that's what they name them during the start of a relationship when both are still in a sweet stage and usually last for about months up to two years.

Once past this phase, you will be in the phase of compromising and making changes for one another. No more in fairy tale dreamland and you will then return to your true self and realised that some of the things that you could not tolerate. Eventually you will stop giving in as much as you did and you're hoping for some return for the things you've done thus far. Some of the things start to fall apart, and this stage will be the one where communication and commitment comes in crucial. Here you will realise that tolerance plays a huge part and listening to your partner does make a difference. You might enter into disagreement or arguments but both parties will need to put in much efforts into keeping the relationship alive. Many fell out of love after the honeymoon phase, because their partner wasn't someone that they could handle or someone they had in mind.

Of course, we did went through such a phase as well. When everything was almost close to sweet and perfect. When life was without much commitments, before we thought of moving to the next stage in life. There wasn't as much consideration as compared to what we are facing currently. Much less worries, stress when we can just live life freely, did many random things, travel around, gave many surprises and did much more things for each other. Couples always strive to still do such things to keep the relationship alive. However, when reality sinks in, these wasn't as easy as what we thought and there was tons of consideration and condemns that we received from others that made judgement without knowing much in fact. 

Let's drop the miserable part and revive on the good times.

After getting together for about two months, he initiated a trip down to Singapore randomly to do some competitors check. Tickets was bought about 2 weeks before and I was looking forward for that day to come really soon. We hardly went for any sightseeing since the main intention was to check out a few of these coffee places and to watch a stand up comedy. Headed to Bugis and ended up walking in rounds whilst looking for Bugis Street when the alley was just right in front of us. This is when I found out that he really could sweat a bucket full and I felt guilty for making him look for that place. 

After a tiring walk searching for Bugis street, ended up drinking the famous Koi bubble tea. He didn't wanted to upload my pretty face with the bubble tea afraid that he might lose his market shares from the rest of the admirers :( 

ToastBox in Singapore was much better compared to the one we have here. Mee Siam was good and came with half boil eggs plus a cup of coffee / tea. After that, we took a train down to Lavender continued our journey in searching for a hipster cafe, Loysel's toys which is located in a building inside a park along the Kallang river. We had quite a long walk and finally manage to find the place. Bear in mind that I have 0 sense of directions, even I've been to Singapore a few rounds before this. 

That's my cup of ice tea plus his cup of black coffee. That's my hand only because no face was allowed.

This was my own selfie. Kesian me. I always looks much chubbier in photos. That's not a ghost behind me during bright day light. 

Here's where we took our first selfie at the Kallang river's bridge and the only photo of us during the whole trip. 

Continued the night catching a stand up comedy and going around City Hall looking for food and ended up in Funan digital mall with very delicious ramen noodles at Bishamon Sapporo. Then came the end of the trip where we had some famous taufufa, kuay tiao soup at the old airport toad food centre. There's like tons of tau fu fa stalls here and we just simply picked one with the shortest queue. I remembered that rain continued for the whole day, we had no choice but to head to a mall and walk around. 

Vaguely remembered this place if memory recalls and we sat at one of the corner with two seats

He ended up buying a blazer and took a selfie and sent to me at the changing room.  

Took a bus back from Novena Square and we were watching Darren Brown the whole journey. Half of the time I was too tired and falling asleep but feeling a bit paiseh for not being accommodating. 

Marks the end of the Singapore trip, this was about more than 2 years ago but I've always remembered the details, the moments that I really cherish the most.

To be continue...

#1 Story of You & Me: When You Came Into My Life

Dedicated to the one I love ...

I've read and watched many love stories all these years but I've never written one, a true story which is based on my own love story. This might not be as great as any love stories out there, however everything that you will be reading is not made up. I truly mean them all for each and every word of this posting. So, here is my love story.

A first class honours Computer Science graduate who excels in many co curricular , falling in love with an average Commerce graduate who was never active in anything. I was just a normal girl next door that you will probably find many on the streets. We did not recall each other when we first met. In fact, he thought I was a princess diva cum 'la-la' girl with that super curly long locks. Whereas I thought that he was just another typical chubby programmer nerd at the workplace who party all night long and date only pretty girls that meets his standard.

 VS

Failed permed super maggi mee curly hair vs chubby boy trying to act cute

Random guy came and add me on Facebook and took me so long to figure out who's this person with a 'chimp' profile picture.

This wasn't the average 'love at first sight' love story. We met each other at our previous workplace which is a college, a place where I studied for my degree. Slowly, we realised the existence of each other when he always drop by to look for one of my colleague. He realised that I've cut off my long curly locks and made a change to my outlook and I realised that he wasn't that boring programmer that I will never dial the extension to seek for help during work. We started to talk to each other and get to know each other better after a while. At that point of time, I was in a terrible condition with my previous relationship and close to breaking off. Whereas, he ended his just a few months ago.

We didn't even have each other's handphone number during the start but merely chatting through Facebook. There were moments that I knew he was out there doing support, and I will hold my documents for other department's to use as excuses to walk around and hoping to bump him somewhere in the college. Please don't ask me where did I get the courage to do such silly stuffs. Coincidentally, there was one fine day that I bumped into him three times without making any efforts and since then I'm his "jie jie" and he's my "unker". We were fooling around and I pulled his lanyard then and we both got into a very awkward situation.

Two very random photo that's in matching outfit taken on separate occasions found on our childhood album

So I got his number through a colleague because I needed to ask him some stuffs (NO, not using these as excuses, or hmm maybe I was haha). Our first encounter through mobile was when I typed the whatspp by giving him a text with caps and exclamation mark with his name. He probably thought was some random guy coming after him for money. Since then we have been chatting and perhaps sharing many problems I've encountered to him. Somehow I do get mad when he doesn't reply my text messages after a night. He knew and came back and asked if I'm mad, but I just told him I have no rights to do so. So this I guess this is the typical flirting or 'fishing' period that most of the couples go through before getting together?

In fact, we were pretty unsure if we really met each other the first time in our previous workplace or, we have bumped into each other during primary school. I've always dreamt of that boy who helped me up when I fell down on the basketball court with that big heavy bag when a teacher just walked past me without offering a hand (if you studied in a chinese school, you'll probably get what I mean here). Well, memory doesn't allow me to recall back that far, but I chose to believe that perhaps he was that boy I wanted to thank but forgotten since my knee was badly injured and I was in much pain.

These were like the first set of photos that we have taken together as 'close friends' during a Karaoke night outing 

I recalled a dream that was so surreal, that the moment I woke up from it that I almost thought it was for real. The dream when he held me in his arm so tightly and never wanting to let go.

We did not chose to pursue or jump into another relationship that soon, due to the situation that I was in. However, I realised that I couldn't control my feelings for him anymore, that I've never found someone whom I can relate so much as if we have known each other for years even before we met. I made a confession to him first, that I have feelings for him and I can't hide them. Being that I'm a girl who's really straight forward, I was never afraid to express my feelings. Because I knew if I didn't chose to do so at that time, I'm missing out something really great.

I really enjoyed doing random stuffs. Randomly saw this and hop on and he decided to tag along the fun, well isn't this what life's all about. For not giving a damn at times. 

He told one of my best mate that he doesn't have any feelings for me. But I recalled those messages, each and every one of them. Just like how could a guy offered to come by and pick you up for clinic over a cold, called you up and ask if you're out having lunch and needed a ride back to workplace due to rain, bought food and desserts back for you, knowing that you have cravings for a particular bubble tea and drop by to get them and offered to walk you out for lunch with an umbrella under the hot sun because you were unwell. Together with those text messages that points to the sign that he was really interested in you. Please advise me how should I not take all these seriously, or perhaps he does this to every other girl out there?

Of all, one fine day asked if I know anyone who have a sleeping bag and needed that for the next day. I was guessing that he have like tons of friends on Facebook and why of all me? I was then warned by my best mate to stop doing such things and putting hopes in him. Then we started going out during random nights, and my aunt got worried because there's this new colleague guy who occasionally drop me home when it's super out of the way. Random nights that he came to pick me up at 12am for a drink and we often forgot about time chatting until 2am when we still have work the next day.  There were lots of memories at the neighbourhood's mamak stall, Starbucks, Strawberry fields and  Island cafe. How Miki used to hate him so much that she would bark at him and put her four legs against this bad Unker. Compared to now getting way too excited and pee every time she sees him without fail.

Miki's 5th Birthday with our two precious daughters

Eventually, he took a leap of faith and without realising, he fell for me. Being the girl that allows him to be himself whilst being with me. He realised that I wasn't that princess, but the girl who's willing to dirty her hands for hard work and make sacrifices in life to be with the one she love which is him.  Pretty tough to make this guy admit his feelings and make up that very decision. We started our journey whilst watching 'Ice Age' and he granted a 'warranty period' aka trial period with no deadline. There was still like tons of whatsapp messages from many prospects during that time. However, relationship is all about being yourself with that person. Being at the same page, sharing the same vision in life, being connected and that kind of explainable chemistry that happens deep inside. Fate have brought us together but we decide to chose our own destiny and journey ahead.

Warranty card that I made, for real

After being hurt much in the previous relationships, I've told myself not to commit and fall hard for a guy anymore in my life. I was really afraid of being hurt and harmed having to go back to the state of depression again. I've never thought what or how far this relationship will bring me until where we are today. I've never thought how much would this person mean to me, and how important or how much impact or changes he brought into my life since then until today.

Over a million, zillion people in this world and how glad you're to find a soul mate amongst them. Some took a lifetime and yet still searching ... 

There wasn't one single person that I knew off in our previous workplace who shares exactly the same personality profiles, and usually the people with the same personality don't get along too well in life. Surprisingly we both share a very close personality profile but get along pretty well. I guess, we share many common life goals, perspectives that brought us together after all. There's still a little difference in terms that he's not so good in planing and time management and I'm not so good with coordination and logic which is how we compliment each other. Whereby, I will usually do research and plan for a trip and he will be my best navigator ever because I just can't read a map properly.

Most recent Hong Kong trip during March 2014

As they said that the person who truly loves you, will not be afraid to tell you and point out your flaws so that you would be a better person for your own good. He have taught me many things in life and vice versa to him as well. I admit that I was once a pretty selfish person but after knowing him and looking at all the kind deeds, I've changed my perspective towards many things in life. Just like how I feel happy these days through simple gesture just stopping lettering passerby cross the road, holding the lift door and door for others. Doing them without expecting a return, but smile and thank you from others seemed to cheer up my day a little.

Heh, can you imagine that I'm driving this turbo car now and every time I tekan, seemed like the fellor is farting slowly.

From a guy who used to have really bad road rage and chase after idiotic drivers on the road with his super turbo charged SLK (#smalllittleKenari) taking the highway like his F1 race track to a person that improves so much. Though sometimes he still go over the ramp to get to the other side of the road. Next time when you see a Ranger driving like this in Klang Valley, you won't even need to take a guess of who's the driver. Also, how much he have cut down in drinking and smoking along these 2 years.

We made each other to be a better person in a whole. If you really love the other person, you won't try to change the person but instead you will make him/her a better person and he/she will take the advice out of care and love.

First photo that we took together after we started

To be continue... #2

Being Judgemental. Facts Distortion. Complicating Things.

We are being brought up in an environment that our thoughts are constantly swayed to making judgement on other people through assumptions. Due to the fact that we're living in a society that money and status is the one that determine the 'class' that we are living in. How many of us are not judgemental? Before you said you're not, think of situations below. If you've made assumptions by making up thing in your mind before finding out facts.

1. You just got your brand new car last night, a kid threw a stone and left a scratch. What's your immediate reaction?

(Answer: The kid was trying to get your help asking for attention. No one stopped to help him when his brother is laying down on the road after an accident)

2. You purposely took leave and went to attend a seminar. But the speaker speaks really soft and murmuring and you can't hear a thing. What's your feeling?

(You felt frustrated, time wasting and disappointed. Answer: The speaker had some medical condition and he was about to speak on how he went through...)

3. You saw a man unconscious laying down by the corridors with many beer bottles beside him.

(You must have thought that he's a drunkard. Answer: He's a homeless man picking up bottles for a living and he just fainted because he didn't eat for days).

So now, count the instances that you've been triggered by anger, by just making assumption to others in life.

Next, human tends to complicate things by making up rumours. They felt the joy by just talking bad about others and humiliating others in order to make themselves feel better by creating a picture of positioning themselves higher than the rest. Haven't you said such thing before? Have you been jealous or bad mouth about your own family members just because you wish to make them look bad so that you would stand out better?

"I'm earning and doing well in my job, look at my cousin, wasting his life that he haven't even completed his studies in college. What a useless spoiled brat". (He have difficulties in his studies and no one is willing to help him. He felt ashamed that he's stuck in such a situation)

"Look at my sister-in-law, dressing like a slut, she must be eyeing on my brother's money." (But do you know what she went through? She might have low self esteem, and her dressing might be absurbed, but she thought that's the way of impressing others.)

Ask yourself a question:
Do you really have nothing better to do in life that you love to judge others. How does other's live their life ever concern you? Have they taken a penny from you, or they owe you a million bucks? Or they have wronged you in a really harmful way that you have to make other's life miserable.

One should always be holding their judgement and thoughts back before knowing a person well enough. I've had many comments from my colleague that my first impression to them is that I'm a diva, stuck up girl, lansi with attitude that does not like to mingle around with others. But just right after we have known each other well enough, they drop all their thoughts and never imagined that I'm such a random crazy girl who makes them burst out in laughters. They even think that I'm nuts in some ways. Well, ask the girl that I've worked with for 2 long years. When I kick her shoes far away in the middle of a seminar because we got bored, when we started talking about nonsense in the middle of a townhall meeting, and how I pressed all the floors of the lift because she forgotten where's the library. Besides my family, my boyfriend and my close friends and colleagues, you have no rights to judge me.

Stories and things that are being made up are usually one sided. Usually, we made things up because we felt jealous and we wanted the situation to be in our favour as if we are always the right one. If you've listened to such stories, how sure are you that the facts are right? And not that majority of them are being made up. When you choose to believe and gossip around with such 'facts', have you verified or asked the party that you're speaking about if all of them are true? And do you really know what they're going through or all the sacrifices that have been made.

Also, have we ever considered by just making assumptions and spreading rumours, how much harm have we brought upon others? Do you really feel happy by making other's life miserable? If you said yes, then you should be seeing a physcatrist.

So much so that we could say that we don't really need to mind about what other's said as long as we are happy. But.. well, unless we move away, or shut ourselves to others somehow, somewhere in life the world is too small not to cross each other's path.

错过了当下握在手中的美好

无意间在面子书上看到了这篇文章的主题。

结婚吧，在未感到厌倦之前

这篇文章既然写出了我的心声。我一直以来想解释但又说不出的话。

在迷茫的人群之间能与你爱的人相遇是一件难得的事情。更难得的就是你在瞬间已觉得他是那个将陪你共度一生的 那个人。

虽然文章是偏于中国大陆的某种现象，可是到了这个年纪的女子想拥有自己家庭的都可能有着一样的想法。

“稳定与否，似乎是大家判断自己能不能结婚的一个重要因素。另外，还有个怪现象，好像谈恋爱的时间越长的那些人，越是结不了。”

稳定是大家常常所用来判断适合结婚或不的原因。如果觉得工作不稳定，生活不稳定等等就当然不适合结婚了。在现实世界就是那么的残酷，没达到任何社会说设下的程度和水准就会常常觉得这个不够，那个不够就是永远都不够。以前的人可简单的多吧？虽然是说大多数都是父母的安排或习俗非常的多，可是好像就没什么听过要成功到什么程度才可以结婚。

难道说娶了老婆肯定她就是一个很大的负担，一定就导致你事业不成功等等？可曾听过一个成功背后男人有着一个对他不离不弃的女人？ 而且以现在这个社会的女人，我们根本就不用靠男人来给与我们三餐温饱，我们是反而是帮男人们分享负担。所以就算是结了婚，男人的钱也不用分一半给老婆，只是的空就哄哄老婆开心买点什么等。反而有时女人所为头家牺牲的永远都超越男人。娶了这样的老婆是男人三生得来的福气。又怎么来的负担和拖累？

“女生不是那种喜欢勉强别人的人，可是她年纪渐渐大了，心里也有点着急。可是男生好像一直都没这个意思。”

有谁是喜欢勉强别人做事情？就像是男人，要推他们一步他们才舍得去走一步，常常要提醒说那里做的不好这里不对等等。可是当你得到以后，你就会觉得好像一切都毫无意义，全部都是你去安排的，就是男人顺着你的意思就是了。虽然不是说男人不愿意的去做，可是就是觉得少了什么就是的。可能就是少了那份非常重要而被遗忘的主动。女人可能就是喜欢男人为她们着想。就算是一件非常小的事情就可以让我们非常开然后心永远都记在心里。可是这种主动就是随着时间而慢慢的流失而变成了理所当然的事情。

女人随着时间的流逝，就是感觉年纪越来越大，心里就当然着急起来。因为女人的最佳时期处在三十之前而男人却不到四十都可能不会觉得需要稳定下来的感觉。女性可能就是天生有一种有着想要组织自己家庭的本能观念而觉得岁数可能就是一个非常重要的关键。因为错过了某种阶段，就可能连一粒蛋都生不出还说上什么家庭。除非你是一位事业为重的女强人，或眼界比他人高出几倍，用一生都找不到所谓好条件的男人。

要不然就是女人担心的就是浪费了那么多的时间，光阴和付出了那么多不知是金钱上，也包括着精神和心思。难道等浪费了那么多的所有可以就这样，拍拍屁股说算了就了了事，当作什么都没发生过。 这几年的爱情长跑，男人却没什么表示，难道说在托几年然后分手了到了那个年纪要去那里再找另一个人随便嫁掉? 男人却不明白让一个女人等了又等的那种失落感可能就是导致她们失去所要的安全感。

“女生说，我不要钻戒，我只要领个证。

女孩心里是这样想的，不管男的有没有毕业，今后会在哪里工作，只要感情到位了，就可以领证了。而且谈了这么多年了，他们对对方的脾气性格都很了解了，除了没生孩子，其实也和结了婚差不多。可男的这样拖着，搞得女生心里很没底，她都不知道他到底还喜不喜欢她了。”

其实女生就是什么都不想要，甚至也可以就是牺牲许多就是因为她觉得要和这个男人一起。可能连每个女生梦寐欲求的钻戒都可以不要。没有说是马上要一个孩子来加重大家的负担，也就是要换来一个踏实的名分，好好的过日子。可是到头想想，有好像这样的委屈到最后又没什么意义了。结婚证书也只不是废纸一张。女子的观念可能就是非常的简单，就是要给与男人一个温暖的家庭，一个男人工辛苦作了一天想回到的家。女生虽然自己本身忙于工作可是还是会将家的一切打点好，把家务都做好，好好的煮一餐好吃的给老公。可是男人就是觉得这一切都是应该的。常常都忘了女人为你做的一切是为了爱，原来女人就是那么的简单，就是男人们别忽略了她们的感受而给与没给与当初刚开始答应的幸福美满的家庭。 

"后来，女生去跟男生说，如果领证了，你就安心出国，实在不行，我出去跟你陪读。如果你现在还告诉我你不想领证，那咱们就分手。你出去读你的书，我在国内想干嘛干嘛，过我的单身生活。等你回来，要是想我，你再来找我。我电话不换。男生竟然答应了。他们就这样莫名其妙地分手了。" 

就是一直拖着，女孩的心里几乎都没有什么底了，等待的限度也几乎是用完了。

原来放弃一段长跑的感情是那么的简单和容易，就是不想继续就放下了。女人会想说是我哪里做的不好或不够呢？然后就想尽办法费尽心思的去为了让男人开心做了好多好多。过后才发现原来做了太多自己也觉得好累，却没办法改变了什么，还是跟原本一样。就是这样女人也渐渐的慢慢选择放弃不再把自己的思想分享给男人。 难道就说一点也不觉得伤心？ 可能就是觉得这爱情长跑太累了，是时候放下。宁愿是这样倒不如自己受苦等待一个不知道会不会发生的未来。

 “女生今年年初也结婚了，对象是她爸妈给她介绍的，比她大三岁，硕士毕业后工作五年多了，单位不错，而且婚前就买了房。和女生结婚以后也买了车。

他很支持她读博士。 

突然觉得，结婚似乎就是一个机缘巧合的事情，有时候，无论之前你们有多少感情基础，就是走不到那一步。和前面说的那对博士朋友相比，她已经做了太充足的准备，却最后披上了别人的嫁衣。而那对博士朋友，从认识到领证，也就不到一年时间。” 

所以女生就是选了一个可以给他踏实感的男人。可能大家都觉得这位现任老公本事好多了，什么基础都有完当然可以马上想结。可是就是说缘分，到最后女生可能就是会选了一个她觉得是‘对的时候对的人’，而不是她始终最爱的那个。 

不管你们的感情基础有多好，做了多少的准备来到达到今天各种的要求，可是到最后就是走到那一步。

我们把太多的条件附加在婚姻之上，总是觉得要满足很多条件才能谈婚论嫁，比如买房子，工作稳定，在同一个城市……却忘记了婚姻，本应是两个相爱的人，愿意在一起生活。”

这一段是我觉得在这篇文章里写得最好的一段。我们经常都把好多条件放在婚姻上，常常就是因为太多的顾虑，就是这样的错过了一段美好的感情。其实只是为了就是那么简单的道理，就是双方都相爱也觉得对方是对的人，要一起生活。要不然就是为了要满足其他身边人的期望，可是这不是双方的决定？为何却要为了人家或家人的几句话而决定你自己的终生大事？你有觉得这样的待遇对等你而久的对方公平吗？而且等了一年，两年你又如何觉得你可以改变他人的想法。还是就是一直继续的那样人家说什么你就一直让着，明明就是就是这两个字 “逃避”而不敢去面对，也不敢去承认。  

"女生说，他前男友之前提出的那些问题，在她看来，都不是问题，他出国，她可以陪她，他没有工作，她不在乎，都读到博士了，以后想找份工作，难道还找不到么？如果说是害怕以后工作不在一个地方，那更没有道理了，她完全愿意等他先找工作，待他一切都定下来，她再去找他。其实不管有多少困难都是可以努力解决的。

但是，他选择了逃避。"  

逃避 - 逃避，广泛运用在面对不愿意接受的残酷现实，如情场上单方面太爱一个人，逃避感情深陷欲罢不能；被动接受单方面求爱的人，逃避软磨硬泡妥协被征服；相惜相爱的人，因不得不分开而逃避感情持续发展等等。另一方面是躲避不想遇到的人及不想正面对待的事物，如人际交往的逃避。  

逃避有用吗？逃避了还是找一天要面对的事实。逃避只能让你暂时的不去面对而换来的不到的永远。后悔错过的永远都不会再回来。如果你是想要这样的结局，你可以选择逃避一生，永远都活在愧疚当中。因为，你没有勇气为了你所要的东西而奋斗努力，常常只是要选择最简单的方法解决事情让后就把一切丢在一旁当作什么都没发生。没有必要也就不用去触碰。这就是名副其实的逃避。 

"也许是他不够喜欢我，也许是他厌倦了。恋爱的时间拖得太长，已经没有激情了，其实我们的关系，早就跟亲人差不多，我们本来也都是理性的人。"  

可能就是这样，最好的借口。双方只是习惯了在一起却没有当初的激情。或者是因为某种事情而捆绑在一起。 

我想对男孩子说的是，如果你身边的她，就是你要的那个她，就别再拖了。不要等到最后，你还在一心规划着未来，她已受不了等待，选择离开。 

有想过就是默默的离开。

有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己的行李去旅行。

有时候，夜深人静的时候，突然觉得寂寞深入骨髓。

有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次 。

献给很累很累的你 

“阻止你前进的，到底是对现实的恐惧，还是你内心的不确定呢？

所谓恋爱，不过是在我们还未厌倦对方之前，在一起。

结婚吧，在你们还未感到厌倦之前，别让时间消磨掉你们最初的感动，别让她等你太久太久。

最重要的是，不要为了那些还未到来的忧虑，而错过了当下握在手中的美好。”

完结篇也写下了据点。其实已经开始厌倦，可是在还有的救济之下，又何必要把一切都搞垮呢？ 可能背后有着许多人的指指点点，有些就是甚至看到到最终还是走不下去，去感谢天谢地，就是不看好也不祝福，看人家的不好就让他人心凉。 可是，又何必去为了他人毁掉自己一生的幸福。决定权仍然在你的手中， 除非你觉得这一切都不值得。 

这好一句的 “不要为了那些还未到来的忧虑，而错过了当下握在手中的美好”。

两个人的相遇是随着缘分，可是经营一段感情是两个人互相努力而达成。

The Journey of You & Me

Life’s a journey, a lifelong journey with a destination we hope to reach in the end. Along the whole journey, we have people who are important to us, people who are just passerby and eventually people whom we opt to live without and move on with life. The journey is like a lifelong experience with many lessons that taught us and make us grow into who we are. Everyone live with a past, whether they’re good or bad, but we strive to live life without regretting on the things we have done. There are things that we eventually need to learn how to let go, there’s perspective in life that we will have to change, because change is constant and we can never stop time.

We all know that good relationship don’t just happened with a snap of finger, takes both party’s commitment and time, patience and both who truly wishes to spend their life together. I’ve been in a long relationship for 9 long years. Many questioned why and how could I stayed on if the relationship wasn’t a pleasant one. I don’t have a definite answer for this. All I would say is that I was once young and naïve, sacrificing and believing in things that’s unrealistic. However, once you hit a certain age, you’re looking for a man whom you can depend on for the rest of your life. Not just another one who sits around and play computer games at home, and telling you having a job is ‘good enough’ without having other plans in life.

I came to the point to ditch the past and took a step forward to this person whom I’m currently dating now. I was definitely unsure and uncertain of what’s ahead but just merely a leap of faith and feelings that told me it’s the right thing to do. Meeting him was by fate, becoming friends was a choice and how we were attracted to each other with never ending conversations throughout the day. I still remember how I was attracted to him, someone whom I’ve longed for all these years, things we shared and the common goals we had towards life. Someone I foresee that I could spend the rest of my life with.

He’s obviously smarter than me in some ways to compliment my clumsiness, and my good memory that compliments his forgetfulness. And how one is open to learning and growing intellectually really kept our relationship going. I can't take guys who thinks that they’re smart enough or they’re not willing to learn or make an effort to learn simple things around them. I was also attracted to his modesty, humility and ego which is well balance, other than those times when he’s driving which is a totally different person in whole.

I’ve had enough with guys with big ego always putting on the blame on others. These are the crucial things that we share in common, which forms part of the believe in our lives together.

There are just the things that made us felt that we were meant for each other. The feeling as if you have known this person for a very long time, and without speaking a word he knows exactly what’s in my mind. Perhaps we were the long lost friend during primary school, he's the little fatty who held me up when I fell down at the basketball court. We could spelled out each other's most horrible nickname during primary which no one ever mentioned for nearly 15years. The compatibility we have and how we work together in getting things done. 

Years ago, I've once went through a long tough period of depression before I manage to pick myself up again. The long lost smiles that he has manage to brought back into my life. Things that he tried to correct me in life, that I’ve not realized how I’ve taken things for granted at times. The numerous nagging on my lifestyle and the efforts he put in to make me sit up straight every time when I’m having meals. Though I might show him a sour face, but deep inside I’m still glad that he makes the effort to nag at me.

Besides all the good times and sweet memories that we have together for these 2 years plus, seemed like time flies. I recalled that I was still staring at my phone and longing for his messages asking me out for Starbucks and movies. How we used to tease each other, actually that’s call flirting and how I made him picked up the drunk me after a company’s event and sending me to clinic after having a massive headache due to mixing of alcohol drinks. How he got mad at me for turning up at work, when the doctor granted me medical leave. And how he got hold of me during a silly ice age movie when the fellor was chasing after a pathetic nut instead of the spiderman's movie kissing scene. How I got shocked having to sleep next to him for the first time and he started talking gibberish coding language and slapping his own face during mid night just to realised that he was just sleep talking. Hence getting used to the snoring that I literally hear nothing these days. 

Besides one of the most important part of the relationship is that he cares about my thoughts. He would never fail to take my hand to ask me if I’m ok, if there’s anything wrong once he sense that there’s something between us. One should always respond with much empathy, sincerity and caring to make the other half feels that he/she is important to you in many ways. At times, after a bad day at work, all you wanted is just a hug from the person and not going home to another fight. And how he would put me into all these cars enthusiast stuffs, which I have totally no idea what was he talking to me about in the very beginning. At times, we make sacrifices for each other just to see each other happy.

There was a long struggle before we came to the decision of getting a place together. The place that means a lot to us, because with our home which is the only place that we could find the together-time that shuts us from the problems and issues of the world, people around us, that takes us away from stressful time just for that period of time. I wouldn't call this as selfish, but at times when things in life are overwhelming for us to cope, we really needed a shelter to get away. Who doesn't? We are all human, if you have doubts go listen to the song "I'm only human" we do break down at times. At times, things ain't as perfect as what others see on the surface. When you only choose to hear from one party's view, things might have been biased in many ways. 

By having a place that we can really call home, we could turned up the music that we enjoyed, a place for him to concentrate in work, while I can cook some meals at times, and at least giving him a proper good night sleep that he has not been having for years. 

I'm really thankful to have him to come into my life and make a whole lots of changes. Though we have been going through much ups and downs lately, my life wasn't the same after I've met him. At times, these obstacles in life we will have to take them as trials to make our relationship stronger. When comes to things that we can't change, we will just have to work our way out even there's no way. He's one of a kind to me that I wouldn't be able to find elsewhere.